So this is a b-day prezzy for my ineffably precious friend Rachel. She refuses to go into natural bodies of water because she claims they're 75% fish poop and dead people. What with all the bodies the mob disposes of, people scattering ashes of their dead peeps, ship wrecks, suicides, accidental drownings, shark attacks etc since the beginning of time, Rachel claims swimming in the ocean is like taking a Death Bath. She has a point.
"When all of the dead people in the ocean decided to throw a birthday party for Rachel, she was hesitant to attend. Upon reflection, however, she decided it would be rude to decline the kind offer."
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